I feel bad for Eloise Bridgerton

This will contain season 4 spoilers

Eloise is a character who I have mixed opinions on, mostly the writer's fault and their approaches to Feminism. It was this latest release that has left me feeling awful for her, mostly due to being in a similar position to her. I'm asexual among friends who are all in relationships or married and it is an incredibly isolating feeling, and here Eloise is a spinster among her married off friends and family. 

She has spent the first part of Season 4 being punished for simply being a spinster, something she has wanted throughout the entire show. Eloise is isolated from Francessca and Penelope as when entering conversations it centred entirely around married life, her mother sends her to oversee her sister's finishing school lessons, all the while being called selfish. By episode 4, you can really see her walls cracking, preparing her for her inevitable love story. She just 'hasn't found the right man' and that she'll come to understand wanting to be a wife. 

For a character who's arc centers around feminism and independance, they are paving the way to a character arc where she realises her wrongs, and that it was immaturity that fueled her desire to be a spinster. By 'correcting' the more radical sibling, and turning her into a trad-wife (which happened in her book) it paints a fantasy for conservatives: that of assimilation. She's being beaten down to accept social norms. 

The reason as to why I felt the need to mention my asexuality was that I truly believe that Eloise dressing up as Joan of Arc for the masquerade, could be some sort of hint to her own asexuality. I had found it interesting that Eloise chose this specific costume. The time period is set at a point where foreign relations with France are not peaceful and so becoming a symbol of French victory would be seen as treachery. It is most likely the fact that Joan is such a historically important independant figure, someone that it would make sense for Eloise to idolise and dress as. Yet when comparing the two characters a shared trait stands out. My dissertation is on the chastity and virgin identity of Holy Women, and like other female saints, Joan's virginity was incredibly important. Her entire character is centered on the title 'Pucelle', meaning Maid, which labels her as a virgin, this is what makes her actions valid in the eyes of late medieval theologians. It was what made her be able to act powerfully and independantly (without having to mentally marry jesus... don't ask). Eloise wishes to use the label spinster to grant her this same power and independance, making her wish to embody Joan such an interesting choice for a character. I will acknowledge that this is Bridgerton and everyone will get their love story, but to me this parallel could offer Eloise as an asexual character. 

That is why her treatment this season is heartbreaking to me. The show plays fast and loose with the limitations of Regency society, and yet the one thing it keeps coming back to is that marriage is everyone's happy ending. Why build up this character only to have her crack and lose every aspect that makes her her. There are eight siblings, even multiple queer ones, and yet it is unthinkable to have a character who does not want a relationship or to marry. What's worse is that she was finally talking to women at parties and becoming involved in society, some fascinating character development revealing that she's now more comfortable to do so now that she's 'on the shelf'. This detatchment being a shield. I used to wish for her to be a lesbian, interpreting her distaste for suitors as distaste for men, but it might go deeper to being asexual. (this doesn't mean she cannot be a lesbian, I still wish she was). 

All in all, if they bring back Phillip Crane in part 2 of season 4 or hint at Marina's death I will fight someone. 

please form a book club

A podcast I used to like is ending

At its peak Malevolent really was an incredible fiction horror podcast. Its characters were flawed and fascinating and the scenery was vivid despite being only audio. I listened to it when I finished my A-Levels and its coming to an end in my final year of university, and that felt right to mark off that period of my life. I truly loved it and its world consumed me for years. 

Until Season 5 came out.

To truly explain why Season 5 was so jarring, let us look at the general plot and atmosphere of the first four seasons. We follow Arthur Lester, a detective who worked in 1930s Arkham, Masschusettes, immediatley placing him in a setting of gritty cosmic horror and crime noir. After making contact with an eldritch book, he becomes possessed by Something, losing use of his eyes and killing his detective partner (Peter Yang) in the process. The podcast opens blind, scared, holding a corpse and on the run from the cops. Working with the entity, Arthur finds himself in increasingly dangerous and supernatural situations, finally until he reaches a hotel with an entire city underneath sending him somewhere called the Dreamlands. Here, we move onto Season 2 and meet our apparent antagonist: The King in Yellow. 

As the podcast progresses the entity encounters humanity and gradually longs to feel that for himself, taking the name John Doe. He's curious, he's snappy, but he wants to be kind. John is fascinated by Arthur's memory of poems, his music and creativity, it's what makes him such a compelling character. Something so monsterous wanting to be human. Here is when we discover he is a fragment of The King in Yellow, and at the threat of Arthur taking his own life, John sacrifices himself in turn, returning to the King.

In Season 3 we have a blind Arthur in an unrecognisable environment, with a voice in his head that sounds exactly like John but nothing like him all the while. This Arthur doesn't have time to learn to befriend this voice, instead being aggressive and threatening. He's tackling his own grief, that of John, but also the loss of his daughter by his own hand, a grief that carries the show. The town he's in, Addison, is a constant reminder of Faroe as the town itself is named after the daughter a man sacrificed for a higher power. The season's mission is to hunt and kill this pathetic monster of a man named Larson. It is this season that solidified this show as something beautiful. After a horrible and bloody confrontation, John is returned to Arthur, fighting unknown battles himself, and the two have to make it out of the town and its mines whilst unable to recognise eachother's ferocity. They are at their bedrock doing their best to drag eachother out. 

In return, Season 4 is a victory. They are able to return to civilisation, New York of all places being a bustle of life and joy. We are even introduced to a person from Arthur's old life, his father-in-law of his late-wife. Arthur is able to shine as a detective this season, trying to hunt down an organisation that Larson is connected to. What makes this season so refreshing, though, are the side characters. For once we have characters that live longer than a single episode, Oscar being my favourite and the one I latched onto like a barnacle. It allowed the audience to imagine a possible future for Arthur and John after the show had ended, them getting their happy ending with friends. But this is a horror podcast and these things never last. 

So Season 5 ignores the noir detective setting and instead plays entirely into the eldritch. So naturally it is set in 13th century England. 

What makes this choice become increasingly worse is that the writer (and voice actor, and editor, yes it's all one guy) knew this was a bad decision. It killed the flow of the story. It purposefully places Arthur into the medieval period and yet doesn't utilise any of its history. Before this, the podcast's historical research was done so well, using music from the period, playing with what could realistically be available to this character in this time period. In Season 4, you could follow Arthur's routes on a map, it was that precise. We don't even get a location in England. Our protagonists were dumped into a generic field mid-argument with no sense of place. Anachronisms follow them as the episodes progress in a way that starts to feel like a betrayal. For a story that previously felt so grounded, it suddenly attempts to become a fantasy. It's revealed that this is an England over run by France and yet we meet only one french character who then dies within the same episode. Any elements of environment are immediately removed the second they are introduced, as if they were forgotten by the creator. 

What makes these last two seasons so disappointing is that the stakes become so high the characters no longer act like themselves. Suddenly the big bad is so important that character conflict doesn't last longer than a single conversation. Arthur even dies multiple times in Seasons 5 and 6 to the point where the logic behind each resurrection is weaker than the last. Season 5 was meant to be John's season so when Arthur dies, we thought 'finally, we get to see John stand on his own', and we did. Briefly. After all this time, John establishes himself as an individual, he's not human but he isn't the King in Yellow. He is simply John. But Arthur is revived, and suddenly John is thrust to being Arthur's eyes again. What's worse is that after this grand speech of individuality, we barely get to hear that much from John, as once Arthur reaches a castle and it part of a pity attempt at a murder mystery, John has to stay silent. Arthur cannot be seen talking to himself, and so he ignores John. What is the point of having such a poweful moment to then have to hide the character away. This is a problem that doesn't stop, even leading to the finale, because the stakes keep increasing and so John and Arthur have to work perfectly together or risk the end of existence. We lose connection to everything that made the podcast great in Seasons 3 and 4, instead becoming a worse version of Season 2 which used to mark the podcast's lowest moment. 

I've been trying to stick it to the ending, coming out on the 30th, but it's been a trudge. Every decision made in Season 6 has felt like the wrong one, to the point it feels like the writer is mad at the audience for being emotionally attatched to the characters. I have no interest in dealing with these sorts of creators again, especially after surviving BBC Sherlock, which is why once Season 6 established that Arthur was the only character that mattered I no longer had the patience for the show. For a brief moment at the start of the end, I had the hope that we could return to the incredible writing of previous seasons but episode after episode, myself and my friends were increasingly disappointed. It's like realising that you are falling out of love with someone you used to be head over heals with. You can see at the bottom some of the art I had made for the show, I truly loved it, the writer even has an art print of mine framed on his wall. But something changed. 

You cannot have a self insert as the main character of a show. It has been said on record multiple times that Arthur Lester is a self insert and it makes analysis of the character increasingly difficult. In order to question certain aspects of the character, suddenly people produce details of the writers life, and whilst yes, real life affects fiction, but they should remain seperate enough that the character can be analysed independantly. I do not need to know anything about the author's sexuality to question a character's sexuality, because then things become speculative and uncomfortable. The self-insert nature of Arthur really hurt the show in its last season where it's revealed that he is the Elder God's favourite boy and that's why he never dies. It's why no other character is granted the same levels of character growth or plot importance or anything. The entire ordeal becomes fustrating. You cannot kill the same character multiple times in one season and reveal he is the most important person in existence and expect me to still care. 

What made the show interesting was that it could have been anyone who opened that book and lost their eyes. By deciding that it wasn't actually just anyone, but specifically Arthur, and that his first introduction to John was in fact retconned, it discredits the first season drastically. It wasn't some guy down on his luck, he was the most important man in the universe, even being given a batman-like origin story where his parents were cultists. We never solved Anna Stanczyk's mystery. I do not mean to say that the stakes in Season 1 should remain the stakes for the entire show, but reaching cosmic levels loses the humanity that was such an important theme of the podcast. 

I will finish this show. 

I will close it's eyes, lay a sheet over its body and say goodbye one final time. The memories and friends made along the way was worth it and I'll always appreciate that. Once it lays to rest, and grass grows over its grave, I may return and find comfort in its presence again. Let us hope for a good finale. 

Good riddance to The Sign of Four

The Sign of Four

This was the book I knew I had to power through because I knew it was not going to be a smooth ride. Luckily I have had some warning to the events of this book when I had watched the Jeremy Brett TV adaptation and the first thing that appeared was a warning for blackface and extreme racism. So it has to be acknowledged first and foremost: victorian racism and the british empire is entrenched throughout this plot. Additionally, there is a stream of misogyny through interactions with Mary Morstan. It makes reading this an odd experience, you want to enjoy it but every fun interaction is tainted by the issues of the case. 

Essentially, there are small slice of life moments that are incredible fun, whilst the case itself is a trudge. 

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So let's start with what I liked. 

Through Watson, Arthur Conan Doyle's descriptions of London are so vivid that it feels like stepping into an impressionist painting with an air of melancholy. He describes the hole in your chest as you pass people in public transport, seeing all sorts of lives and expressions breeze past you, and the 'depression' that comes from it. It's something that I experience today (especially if I'm listening to Hozier on the bus: he's now banned) which offered an odd sense of connection. That connection continues further with the fact that London as a city has not truly changed, the roads through a chase scene can be ones I've walked down, it has an almost intimate nature to it. 

There is a scene where Watson is dropping Mary home to Mrs Forrester, and there is no need to include a description of the home, but including it on top of the previous descriptions of life show Watson to be fascinated with the warmth of living. 'It was soothing to catch even that passing glimpse of a tranquil English home in the midst of the wild, dark business which had absorbed us', it offers a longing for the domestic, adding to the blossoming relationship between Watson and Mary. 

This book also has some incredible descriptions of Sherlock (I think I just like how Doyle describes things) often likening him to an animal. My favourite, which absolutely delighted me, 'by the time I had got out into the grounds Sherlock Holmes was on the roof, and I could see him like an enormous glow worm crawling very slowly along the ridge', out of all the animals available to me, I would never have gone for glow worm. It's such vivid imagery with an element of humour and reminds me of the 'would you still love me if I were a worm' meme, which it seems is answered here. 

Another fascinating thing that I noticed Doyle doing was that whenever he wished to continue the plot, he would have Sherlock discuss a theorist he'd been reading and then mid explantion he'd go 'oh wait, the plot's happening'. It got a giggle out of me every time. What it does though, as well as the german quotes Sherlock mentions, it provides an intellectual environment. We are given, especially as a modern audience, a glimpse into what Sherlock had read, his thoughts on the theories and how this builds his overall mindset: since he is incredibly critical of what knowledge he fits into his mind. It's the sort of thing intellectual historians would love to analyse. 

At some point I do want to engage in how Doyle dabbles in horror but I fear I shall save that for the future. 

Lastly, the sweet domestic moments between John and Sherlock really highlight the moments to breathe throughout the case. I've tried not to go too much into the Johnlock angle, staying focused on critical thought but these three moments were just so gentle in revealing their relationship. At one point of the case, where Toby is taking them on a walk, they stop for a moment to look at the morning sun, 'how sweet the morning air is! See how that one little cloud flares like a pink feather from some gigantic flamingo.'. Another came shortly after, when Toby's trail had gone cold, 'Sherlock Holmes and I looked blankly at eachother and then burst simultaneously into an uncontrollable fit of laughter'. These both are moments of such joy, even when the case had gotten quite dark, that they're still able to find humour in eachother in such a human manner. Sometimes when things go stupidly wrong, you do look at your friend and the only response available is to laugh. What really striked me was, ''look here, Watson; you are regularly done. Lie down there on the sofa and see if I can put you to sleep' He took up his violin from the corner, and as I stretched myself out he began to play some low, dreamy, melodious air - his own, no doubt, for he had a remarkable gift of improvisation.' this scene is so gentle and domestic to the point of tender. So many adaptations show Sherlock to be the awful but excentric roommate who Watson begrudgingly lives with, yet in these three moment they are close companions and best friends. These are men who like eachother's presence.  

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Now let's finally discuss the case.

Reading the book made me understand why BBC Sherlock went the route they did for the Sign of Three, because adapting this case is an absolute minefield. Sherlock and Co took an interesting approach, sadly it's been over a year since I listened to the 10-parts so my memory of it isn't the best, but it still included fascets of the story that at least connected it to the canon. Granada Holmes adapted it nearly page by page and pays the price for it. This causes Mary Mortan's character to be skewed by adaptations, depending how they approach this, all are... choices, which I will elaborate on.

The case has a wonderful moment of horror once the characters reach Pondicherry, where Bartholomew Sholto is revealed to be poisoned in his chair. The way Conan Doyle describes the corpse with a rictus grin and twisted limbs is something I haven't seen in any adaptation and am slightly glad for missing the body horror that would come with it. That is the only thing good about the case... Besides the boat chase.

The boat chase is a scene tainted by the racist nature of the case, as one of the people being chased was an indigenous inhabitant of an island where his partner in crime was imprisoned. Any mention of him was just awfully described, showcasing the ideals of the period. Even Sherlock was happy to assume that it was this man who led Johnathan Small astray. 

Jonathan Small is also a horrible man, who watched over plantations in India whilst it was under British Colonisation. The book tries to frame him as a victim of Sholto and Morsten but all it does is make them all out to be terrible people. It's most likely why it's so hard to adapt this story as there is no way of modernising any aspect of this without it going horribly wrong. 

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Please stop killing Mary please and thank you.

It was done in BBC Sherlock and it was done in Sherlock and Co. I haven't read the later books but I understand we most likely never see her again, instead having Watson make vague references to married life but that is no excuse for modern adaptations to simply kill her. 

The one in Sherlock and Co was especially annoying because it had made an effort to establish Mary's character in a fascinating way, but since the writers don't want to have an overarching romance plot, they removed her from the equation permanently. They could have simply decided Not To Do That and it would not have influenced the plot of the case at all. As well as this, John then spends the next real life calendar year grieving her, even mentioning it in the Hounds of Baskerville case. Yet the writers are perfectly happy to bring back Victor Trevor for Sherlock. It's such an odd choice with the podcast, additionally to how they treat Mariana as they sideline her in nearly every case, it just feels like misogyny. 

In BBC Sherlock, Mary's character was heavily impacted by how Stephen Moffat writes women, making her into a gun weilding secret agent. The few times she gets to be involved in cases, she's actually a delightful addition to the cast and I enjoy her a lot. But then season 4 happens and she dies, but the writers must have realised she was the most interesting character they have so they introduce Ghost Mary. Only to reveal John cheated on her whilst she was alive. I'm not even going to mention the abominable bride, it doesn't even deserve capitalisation.

All I ask is for an adaptation to treat Mary normally. She is a person who is important to John, they don't have to get married, especially in modern adaptations but please just keep her alive. You don't have to kill off a woman just because you don't know how to write her. Genuinley the best treatment of her character is in Watson's Diary, letting her have a lavendar marriage with John and acknowledging that she has her own life. 

ₓ˚. ୭ ˚○◦˚.˚◦○˚ ୧ .˚ₓ

To conclude, I'm glad that book is over and I don't have to deal with it ever again. Whilst it had some lovely character moments, even introducing the famous 'when you have eliminated the impossible, whatever remains, however improbable, must be the truth' line that is considered a staple in adaptations, the rest of the story has aged like milk. It should not be swept under the rug, as it offers insight into Victorian views of the occupation of India and orientalism, it should be handled with care. If there are any academic articles regarding this story's racism I'd be happy to link them in the comments as they would be far more researched and eloquent than my mad rambles. Lastly there is no illustration as I tried and failed, look out for it in the future!

1.5/5 smoking pipes and it should thank me for it

My next book is The Adventures of Sherlock Homes which I'm deeply looking forward to. I want to meet Irene Adler properly, as she is yet another woman butchered by adaptations. The review, then, will most likely be split into sections so I can tackle cases as they come. 

Making a DND character for my friend's campaign

Returning to old hobbies is becoming somewhat of a theme these past few blogposts and this is no different. Dungeons and Dragons has been a game I have dipped my toes in occasionally for years, yet never really got obsessed with it the way others do. This probably stems from the fact that I am piss poor at character creation. This is why I will be taking you guys through creating a new character (mostly because I need a hand to hold onto) so that if something goes horribly wrong maybe someone can call out from the void and help. 

Here is the setting:

In Perpetuum et Unum Diem 

For over a decade, the Gloaming Peaks have been the mark of death for any traveler to the north. The shining mountains, once a scenic (if remote) point of interest, have long been shadowed by one unrelenting snowstorm. This has made crossing through the ranges into a dangerous feat for the common traveler and adventurer alike, incentivizing tight-knit travel parties. Even so, the storm has been known to lay claim to an unlucky few every year. 
Lost in the snow, your party is certainly doomed to the same fate… 
That is, until your eyes catch onto a faint light, and you find yourselves in Yonder, a town frozen in time, cursed to forever relive the day of its annihilation. With dark secrets that lay buried beneath the mountains, the hospitality of the townsfolk soon gives way to your true ordeal; how will you ever leave?

Even before I knew it was in a mountainous setting I wanted a cow-like creature, in an attempt to make a DND version of a minecraft moobloom, though I fear this now might look like meta gaming. The original idea was a minatour character that was a florist on the hunt for rare flowers, inspiring adventures to dangerous places just for its fauna. It feels like that way the character can offer certain insight into the environments therefore being a Druid seems like a perfect fit.

Some level of backstory is required, specifically asking for an anchor. I don't entirely know what the anchor means, whether its something to come home to at the end of the journey or a reason for going on. Therefore we need to cook this character within an inch of their life, but first the basics. I've worked on the main mechanics of the character on a seperate document and it's been approved by the DM, I do in fact have right spell slots, a fun level two spell my character has will be Barkskin, as we are a group of three magic users that desperately need armour. It's also been fun working out ways to make all the choices connect to characterisation, instead of choosing only the best damage dealing. For example, as a Druid, my character can be given a simple weapon, in this case I've chosen a sickle as it makes the most sense for a gatherer. As well as this, since minotaurs are on the larger side, my wildshape of choice is a squirrel so that, when transformed, the character can reach treetops or small caverns easily. 

To connect this to a moobloom, a detail about this character is that, due to not having complete control on their druidic powers, as many spells require strong concentration, their moods can cause all sorts of plants to sprout from their body. This means they are constantly seen with flowers, leaves or vines covering their horns and fur. 

In regards to fears and backstory, these are more likely to be tailored to the campaign in session zero, but we can work out the basics here. I'm choosing not to make this character medically trained, instead the supplier for the herbs and plants medics need. 

A young woman in the minotaur's home has fallen ill, people fear a magically infused coma that she will never wake from, and her absence from life in the village is felt by all. She was a teacher afterall, and without her a lot of kids are missing out from their education. The medics had read books suggesting that plants frozen in time in mountainous regions may have the magical properties needed to relieve this teacher of her ailment and sent the minotaur north as her final hope. They knew of the dangers of the mountains, never daring to get too close on their own, and so they joined a party already heading in that direction.  

As much as they enjoy the adventure that came from gathering these rare ingredients, they are also met with the pressure and fear that without them, people would die. They hate lingering in places, always wanting to keep moving. They also have a fear of large bodies of water, fauna there act on different rules and even in wildshape, the minotaur cannot swim. When near lakes and oceans they often have to employ helpers. 

It's fun to work out this sort of stuff, a lot of it started appearing naturally throughout the character creation. I look forward to drawing and playing as this character... once I find a name for them...

imagine this lil guy as a mighty warrior

Making a top because I miss fencing

When I was doing my A-levels and realised PE was no longer a thing I tried out fencing. Boy, was I bad

at it but I persevered (and arguably got worse). The kit was addmitedly claustrophobic and overwhelming, added with the amount of activity needed, I was very stressed when fencing. It is a sport that suffers from the fact that your progress is dependent on someone else, so when you are a novice you feel as if you are wasting someone's time. That feeling got worse when I reached university and wanted to join the fencing society. It is naturally competitive and added with college varsity, the society was very much competition based and less 'do some exercise and have fun', which caused me to drop it almost instantly. For two years my fencing kit has remained untouched. 

Since then I've started archery and gotten increasingly interested in making historical fashion, not just researching it. So when I was looking into victorian women's archery outfits, I stumbled across this fencing outfit and I fell in love instantly. There are other similar designs that I am equally obsessed with, but it was this one that made me fascinated of the style that comes with old sportswear and what is retained in the modern day. Of course the side buttoned front panel is so that when you are struck by a fencing sword (be it foil, epee, or saber) it glides upon your chest. I then thought about this style in an archery context, making sure the buttons do not interfere with the bow's string, therefore having this side panel would be beneficial. It acts almost like a waistcoat, the modern fencing uniform having arms whilst historically it appears to be a vest, and there is plenty of space for one more waistcoat in my wardrobe.

Then a sewing pattern appeared on instagram as if it were destiny (90% sure it was targeted advertising). It was almost the exact style of these fencing vests and I started it the second my exams were over. As it was fueled entirely by impulse it became a stash-buster project, as mentioned in my rant about covered buttons, therefore being yet another brown waistcoat, even being the same fabric of my 1890s walking suit. Those who have seen my wardrobe will tire of even more brown clothing, but it is a necessary evil as this means I now have the storage to buy copious amounts of green fabrics. 

It was odd using a modern pattern for a historical creation as the construction was completely different. For context, my last project was an 1890s waistcoat which had layers upon shaping methods, all hidden from the outside, and fully lined. This pattern just said to zigzag stitch raw edges, leaving me bemused. It is currently functionally finished, but I do want to add a lining because I know this fabric frays something awful and I do not wish to tempt fate otherwise. It didn't even take a week to finish which leaves me rather apprehensive, whilst thankful because this means I can go back to handstitching hell when attempting a petticoat. It works rather well with the muttonsleeved shirtwaist, creating almost an adventuring character, and I think a split-drawer skirt will be the perfect accompaniment. 

Lastly, yes I will be wearing this to archery, fingers crossed we don't lose any buttons to a bow string. 

I cried for an entire movie (Hamnet)

This will contain spoilers

When a friend tells you to drop everything and watch a movie: you do it. No looking things up, no trailers, I just went to the cinema and watched Hamnet fully blind. It was such a beautiful movie that felt so human and yet so much more all at the same time. 

For the non-spoiler review: It shook me to my core and the little you know about the film the better. It grasps the Tudor period so wonderfully, through the day-to-day living, home decor, all the way to the costumes. These were all well researched, and the big screen is worth it just to see the stitches of the clothing. I knew I was in safe hands the first time we meet Agnes and he sleeves are clearly detatchable. It has the most beautiful still shots of the home with chipping painted decorations all throughout the wooden beams, most likely fragments of the medieval and seeing it provided so much life and history to something already lived in. The way life is presented made me want to run away to a forest, or to be in a bustling city, or to soak in the fire of a kitchen hearth. Never take all this life for granted, hold onto small moments. 

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Grief is a shrowd over this film. Even the moments that are so full of life always make space for what's no longer there. Agnes holds all of this grief close, even in childbirth she calls for her deceased mother, a scene that truly broke me, and then as her children grow she fears for Judith's health, almost mourning her whilst she's still alive. Only that it was the wrong child. She tries to fight the plague singlehandedly, gathering every herbal remedy that could possibly help, using what little power an early modern woman could grab hold of. It was harrowing to watch the desperation. 

And Shakespeare is almost a deadbeat dad. He was constantly running; missing the birth of Susanna and the death of Hamlet. It was almost threatening to be a film about the 'tortured artist' and yet it stood firm by Agnes' side, only highlighting Will's absence. It does not try to make him a hero. He put his grief into his play, the one that is acted out in the finale, letting him say goodbye to his child, unknowingly letting his wife see her son as the hero he wanted to grow up to be. It proves to Agnes that Will had been feeling as deeply as she has, but with a different outlet. 

The globe scene itself was deeply powerful. Through it there is a statement about connecting with a character, we as an audience wanting to reach out for a character in his dying moments, making sure he's not alone. Whilst also being so much more, Agnes sees an entire theatre mourn her son alongside her, yes, they will never know his giggles or cries, but they have been moved by an appearence of him. It is the dream to see someone live on and be remembered. 

On a less serious note, the plague is one of my favourite part of medical history so when plague doctors I was briefly delighted. Though it hit me what it was foreshadowing and that joy turned into a pit in my stomach. In an attempt to cheer myself up when Judith had been struck by the pestilence, I caught myself singing the plague song from Horrible Histories to see which stage of the disease she was experiencing, and yet that made hardly a dent to my emotional state. It truly shows how well a scene is written that purposeful attempts to break immersion failed. 

Overall, an utterly beautiful film that deserves its oscar nomination. 

Drawing Sherlock

 

Character design is always a challenge, especially when that character has been so well established. I've now finished A Sign of Four, and as mentioned in my drawing goals, I'm working on an accompanying illustration. The issue comes from figuring out how I imagine his appearence (don't get me started on Watson). 

Throughout reading, he tended to take the form of Jeremy Brett's Sherlock, as that live action version tended to be the most true to the character. But I don't just want to draw Jeremy Brett. I'm then making it harder on myself by only working with the descriptions that I have available to me as I read each book. 

So here is what I've got so far, a single drawing. Admittedly it was more experiment for brushes than purposeful character design, but as I draw him more, I'll develop things. One fun thing I learnt when gathering references was that in the 1880s, men would often match the fabric of their waistcoat and jacket, but not the trousers. It creates very fun opportunities for patterned trousers which I will be taking advantage of. I'm looking forward to finding descriptions of Sherlock's wardrobe throughout the books, currently it's mostly been his disguise wardrobe. 

The fun thing is that since we are just starting, the characters are the youngest we'll ever see them, and I'm excited to see them grow older in time. It's just an extra thing to pay attention to with designs. 

I'm mainly worried that the illustrations I plan on doing, with my current work flow, would be fully rendered pieces, which would take more time. So I need to remind myself that it is a challenge and that I'm trying to actually push my skills instead of characters in a floating void. This means I really need to work out how to compose scenes, something that I never learnt from an art teacher and very intimidated by. The timing though may cause blogs to no longer be reliably daily or I might post progressions, we can work it out. 

(PS - the sewing project is nearly finished, I've reached a point that requires a lot of handsewing so I'm having a break from it)

Drawing more in 2026 (art goals)

It's never good comparing yourself to a younger version of you, especially the one that existed in lockdown. I was a fiend when it came to art because I knew I still had so much left to learn.

Now, I barely draw. I've got all the equipment, all the tools, all the sketchbooks, and yet I don't touch them. I never recovered from not choosing an art degree and it's haunting me. Yes, history was the perfect choice with actual career paths, but there will always be a longing in my chest. With the end of 2025, I was hoping to do a monthly review of all my art from that year, each month having its own drawing, but there wasn't enough for it. How could I not have made 12 finished and fully rendered drawings? It's almost a betrayal.

So this year I have to do better and this is the perfect place to try new things. 

A project I had in mind was to illustrate my favourite moment in each Sherlock story I read, slightly inspired by Watson's diary , which can then be included in each review I post here. That way I can even engage with the text more than I would otherwise (fighting brainrot one book at a time). 

Additionally, I want to try my hand at OCs. It's always been the one area of art that's left me feeling like the squidward meme (where he looks glumly from a window whilst spongebob and patrick are having fun) but since I've declared this to be the year of writing, there will actually be substance for my future OCs to survive off of. The goal is to have 2 characters ready for artfight this year. That feels like a reasonable deadline.

Those are the main things I want to attempt that seems realistic. Luckily the existence of this blog actively makes me want to be more productive because on some level there is an output, even if people don't see it. Maybe doing things for the sake of sharing them online may be harmful in the long run, but right now it's the drive to keep me going. So, prepare yourselves for illustrated reviews and maybe original characters in the future??? 

The last piece of art I made for my friend's OCs 

I hate fabric covered buttons

I've started a new sewing project (using a modern pattern to make something that, to me, is NOT modern) but I didn't process that all those buttons would have to be made by hand. 

As this is a stash-buster situation, so I can only work with the fabric that I have at hand, which means I'm using a wool I've had in my collection for about 5 years. It was for my first 1890s walking suit and I thought it would work great as the top is waistcoat-adjacent. What I did not read on the pattern sheet was 'Use thin fabric as it will have to fit covered buttons'.

So I've gone into town just to buy these button blanks, it was raining at the level where you're getting annoyingly wet but not enough to warrant an umbrella, meaning I was not in the right state of mind to then tackle these buttons. But I persevere. A single packet of 5 took me 50 minutes and it saddens me to tell you this. They are so fiddly and the fabric is just a fraction too thick to add the neat little button back which means they are an absolute mess. 

The project is at a standstill until I get these damn buttons done. I've spent the afternoon tidying the flat in an attempt to avoid them but my mannequin (named Agnes) stands in my room mocking me. If I don't tackle these tonight then I'll attempt to start A Sign Of Four for the next Sherlock review. 

I will be seeing buttons in my nightmares

Reading the Sherlock Holmes Books (finally)

It is fair to say I really enjoy a good Sherlock story. I've dabbled in a lot of TV (We'll be acknowledging the BBC shaped elephant in the room), podcasts (there a lot to say about s&co), and a few books (lovecraftian horror/comedy if you must know). But up until now I have never touched the real deal, which feels absurd when you are people's Sherlock Oomf. 

Over the Christmas break I set out the very optimistic goal of reading the entire box set. I started out strong with A Study in Scarlet (did not read the american second part because I'm not mentally prepared for that yet) but by the time I picked up The Sign of Four, I never touched it again. Admittedly it was because the holiday doesn't exist when you have exams to work on. 

So let's break down (part of) the book I actually read. 

How Minecraft can solve world hunger (in Pluribus)

 Get MumboJumbo on the case, he'll fix everything. 

I was re-watching Pluribus last night with my friends and we reached the episode where John Cena explains cannibalism with all the skills of marketing students. When Mr Diabate mentioned robotic farming all I could think about was Minecraft Redstone farms. 

Think about it. These farms, though not based in real life, are made to maintain maximum efficiency at large scales and remain entirely automated. That way the plurb'd don't have to lay a finger on the machine; if needed, they can ask a survivor to press any buttons. All they need to do is get an engineer to convert the game logic of these farms to what works in real life. I'm sure there's plenty of real farms that work just as brutally and efficiently (just don't tell peta). The ethics of this is entirely dubious but when you are facing world starvation within the next 10 years, things get deserate. 

Steve's Lava Chicken will save the world. 

Additionally, I just want to go on the record and say that I like the plurb to be a little bit stupid, because this really is a stupid situation. It could be so easy and say 'yay vegetarianism' but having them prioritise all forms of life is so much more interesting. My friend asked last night whether a plurb'd body was infected by a tapeworm, what would they do then? What the show suggests is that they would choose inaction as then they couldn't harm either person or worm, forcing the person to suffer. It adds a satirised level of pro-life belief that is fascinating for an alien race to have, especially if they are wanting to spread to other planets. Of course they have to love all living matter because who knows what counts as living in space? It would be weird if the plub virus was specifically designed for humankind. 

Expect plurb posting in the future (probably more serious next time)

So who actually runs this blog?

 
You see my name in the title, but who actually am I?

I'm a history undergrad (hoping to move to an archival masters) and this will become very apparent in the future of my blog. My main passion right now is historical sewing: specifically the 1890-1900 period as thats the one you can actually get away with wearing in public. But prepare for me to be annoying about all sort of history.

Current (media) interests include:

• Taskmaster (I like this a normal amount)
• Hermitcraft (mumbojumbo main)
• Sherlock Holmes (do not ask about bbc sherlock)
• Doctor Who (Ncuti Gatwa was robbed as a doctor)
• Various fiction podcasts (wooden overcoats <3)

Though I've also been trying new things recently:

• Archery (even did some competitions)
• Actual Video Games (one day I'll play Bloodbourne)
• Painting (art GCSEs and A-Levels couldn't teach me)
• Blogging (this now exists)
• Cooking (no more student struggle meals)

In all honesty, this is a fun way of being unapologetic about my interests and opinions, as I've always had a lot of shame surrounding them. So get ready to explore with me and unlearn shame together!

A 2026 Project

 Hi, my name is [ Quill ] 

I've been inspired this year, like many other people, to return to the analogue. Slowly, my spotify music hoard is being transfered to files in my music folder, with a hope to burn it onto CDs in the future. Twitter has been deleted from my phone, instagram and tumblr are now under safe lock and key. So why am I here?

This is social media without an audience; if I truly want to create then I have to upload somewhere and here theres no algorithm or AI to fight against or fear. Here I can write entire essays or update projects in real time, reviewing my progress and finally finding time on the internet to stop and think. Ultimately, I do not want an audience, but I need to treat this as if it did or else the experiment will fail. 

The end goal is actually to be more comfortable with the idea of writing. I can sew, draw, knit, paint, and hell, recently I've learnt how to make lace. But the concept of a non-visual medium has always intimidated me. Words always escape and suddenly a well articulated point has run off into the pale. It has even been a recent problem in my latest exam season, constantly fighting my articulation with my knowledge. So if the concept of getting words on a page no longer frightens me? Then I declare this a success. 

So here are some ideas for future me to write about:

• exploring Joan of Arc's monarchical relationship to religion
• sewing a non-historical top for the first time in over five years
• taskmaster: why is it so refreshing?

If I eventually write them, they will gain a cute little hyperlink, if not then assume I'm dead.

I look forward to this experiment and what may arise from it. See you soon.