This has also been driven by looking over my years at uni now that I've reached the end; I've come to realise that I just did not have any questions. So many seminars, so many lectures, and they always end with 'If there's any questions my student hours are open', and not once did I utilise that time. It's meant I've always just slightly accepted things and whilst I did disagree, it wasn't enough to them inspire questions that could be taken to lecturers.
I've also noticed it in my day-to-day conversations. Questions are a large part of the conversation format and they have been something I have had to manually and consciously do when speaking to people. I first realised this actively when I was in about Year 8 (12/13) and we were doing a Spanish speaking exam. You had to maintain a conversation with the teacher with the format 'statement, follow up question', where you lost marks if you failed to ask a question. I am quite frankly piss poor at language and so there was only one question floating around my brain: ¿y tu? This has led me, nearly ten years later, to mentally scream 'Y TU' whenever I am in a conversation that becomes rather stagnated.
But I will be (hopefully) in a new place by September and that means new people. Not only that but maintaining the friendships that I've made in undergrad, as I do not want a repeat of sixth form. Previously, the strategy was blindly believing that people were interested in my day to day life, if something happened I would just tell them. Except that makes you look self absorbed. So now I need to learn how to ask proper questions outside of 'how was your day' or 'any plans coming up' to ensure that my current friends know that I care about them and their thoughts.
Let me leave you with some questions:
- Have you been watching anything recently, if so how does it measure to your favourite show?
- When was the last time you bought flowers?
- Has your coffee order changed over time?
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